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I was prepared to hate this book. I assumed it was going to be an anti-porn, pro-censorship diatribe by a sex-hating female columnist. But Ariel Levy has trained a critical eye on the current cultural phenomena of teenagers with pierced belly buttons, lesbian "bois" aspiring to be predatory men and everyone gyrating around stripper poles with wild abandon in the hope that people will think they're "hot." The demystification of sex comes with a price tag: literally. And Levy posits that the pornification of America has resulted in women becoming Female Chauvinist Pigs. Unless something has a price tag, it's unimportant. Unfortunately this is something that is found throughout our culture. It isn't just sex, it's everything: coffee, cars, youth culture itself. As Americans, we can't understand anything unless it's being marketed to us. If it isn't a commodity -- all blinky, shiny, tummy-tucked and new -- we don't even pay attention. Sex is so inexpicable, no amount of marketing will ever demystify it, but that doesn't stop everyone from trying.
No one believes that being a porn star is an easy row to hoe. Heh. But wanting to be perceived as attractive is nothing new. From smearing mineral and water war paint to lacing ourselves into corsets, women have always aspired to beauty. What we believe is hot has changed. And what is acceptable for public consumption has as well. During the sexual revolution, everyone was experimenting. Now sexual freedom has become almost codified, so it isn't surprising that it's being commodified as well. Making yourself sexually available isn't a bad thing unless you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. And I'll agree with Ms. Levy that being a drunken star of "Girls Gone Wild" isn't exactly the smartest goal for a college co-ed. But let's not blame porn. When I was in college, I was a "little sister" at a fraternity. It was really an excuse to hang out with the guys without having to be in a sorority. For me, that didn't mean I was shunning the company of women. I just didn't get accepted into a sorority. But for the other "little sisters" it pretty much did mean they were shunning female companionship. When I organized an event that was to be women only, five out of the 50 little sisters showed up. I was shocked and insulted that the other 45 really were really, sincerely only interested in hangin' with the bros, that their "Mrs. degrees" were more important than, well, sisterhood. It made me realize, however, that most many women are single-mindedly focused on vying for the attentions of men. Which was a lesson I was glad to learn at such a relatively young age. Levy touches on this, if from a different angle, when she gets into why women are (Currently? No, it's been like this for a while) trying so hard to be "like men" and eschewing female companionship. Her take on the CAKE parties especially amused me. I went to one of them when they first started, eager to see how "sexually empowered" women would present a "sex-positive" party with porn involved. It was just about the most depressing thing I'd ever seen: sad, sorry single girls starved for attention, vacant guys expecting wild women all horny for them and porn, projected 40-feet high, that everyone was way too embarrassed to watch. It was pathetic. I'd brought my fetish magazines to hand out and I couldn't give them away. It was probably the most sex negative situation I've ever been in. But they went on to be a huge success, because, well, single guys will line up to see girls gyrate and take their tops off no matter how miserable the outcome is. Which is one of the many points Levy makes. We are all ravenous for a sexual connection. And we'll all wait in line at a velvet rope for the opportunity to make one. But the fact that it's on display, on sale and just ON doesn't mean a connection is actually gonna take place. It's just soooo sad. In the end I don't quite agree with Levy. While it's true that "raunch culture" is being crammed down our collective throats, I don't see this as a result of porn. Or sex. Or anything even vaguely sexy. It's capitalism in all its unbridled glory that we're worshiping these days, and if labial reduction or boob enhancement or being a slut in school 'cause Paris Hilton is famous and, well, she's a slut is what you're into, it's probably not Ron Jeremy's fault. Blame everyone from Ronald Reagan to The E! Channel to Donald Trump for making the almighty dollar more important that just about anything and everything else. And our parallel culture of celebrity worship only adds to the unpleasant circumstances. If there's a glass ceiling, perhaps women should take a look at themselves. Once we've balanced being tits and ass with demanding six months of maternity leave, perhaps gender won't be taken into account in the workplace and we can compete with men on an even playing field. I can't attribute our current situation to misogyny when women are so filled with self-loathing. But this is obviously an enormous topic, one that won't go away any time soon. And Ms. Levy is brave to broach it and get the conversation going.
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