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Carol Queen travels the country imparting wit and wisdom and sharing her vision for a sexually enlightened America. She and her partner, Robert Lawrence, recently opened the Center for Sex and Culture, an institution they hope will help them realize their vision and serve as "a space for sex education in all its manifestations." Carol took a few moments out of her busy schedule to have a few words with ErosZine. ErosZine: Can you give us a brief History of Carol Queen? Carol Queen: Geez, I've lived so many lives, abbreviating is hard. Well: I started one of the first gay youth groups in the nation, back when I was just out of high school. I was a little too bi for many of my girlfriends' tastes, though, and I moved to San Francisco in the mid-80s for two main reasons: to be around more bi people (and queer men!) and to get a degree in sexology. Both goals were realized -- the latter in 1998, when I got my doctorate. I also began throwing masturbation-focused play parties, the Jack-and-Jill-Offs, with a group of people, including the man who became my partner, Robert; I started doing sex work; and I began working at Good Vibrations, where I worked in the store and did staff education. Then my writing work took off; I've written or edited 10 books in the past 10 years. A full bibliography is on my website.
Carol Queen: Good Vibrations has been collecting antique vibrators ever since its original owner, Joani Blank, founded the store. She had several, and then customers began to bring her more. The whole point of displaying them was to show people that vibes were nothing new, that they'd been available for home use since the beginning of the 20th century. And it's clear that by the 1920s that some people used them for sexual arousal and orgasm, because you can see them used that way in the blue movies of the time. Now we get them via donation, eBay and from estate sales and flea markets, and have a couple of hundred at least. Eros Zine: As a sex educator, what surprises you the most? Carol Queen: It surprises me that even now, in 2006, people have such large gaps in their sexual knowledge. People still believe the damnedest things about sex and erotic diversity, and it's so irritating to encounter it when we have so many good people who've done research, written books, gone out on the road to teach. But the average American doesn't get much access to this, instead having to contend with lousy sex education and outdated understanding of sex, response, the whole nine yards. Like, "I could make my wife come if my penis were bigger." No, my good fellow, you could most likely make her come if you'd just go down on her, dammit! Eros Zine: What is the weirdest fetish/sex story/whatever you've ever encountered? Carol Queen: The most amazing thing I've heard about was a from a group of nurses who were worried about how to suggest safe sex practices to a guy whose fetish was used tampons! I was pretty stumped by that, too. Blood is inherently unsafe, at least if you can't figure out whose blood you're sucking and whether they're HIV-positive or have hepatitis. But maybe the best and most beautifully weird part of the story is the idea of an earnest tampon fetishist asking the nurses if his favorite sex trip is safe! Eros Zine: Do you think that sex toys have "gone mainstream?" Carol Queen: Yes, I pretty much do. There are of course still folks who don't know from toys, but more and more, women especially have seen them referenced in fashion mags and on "Sex and the City," and they have access to in-home toy parties if they want to go... not to mention catalogs and websites and, in a few cities, really comfortable sex shops like Good Vibrations and others that have been inspired by it. Eros Zine: You live in the Bay Area, which is the kinkiest city in America, in my opinion. When you travel, what are other cities like? Carol Queen: There are terrific (often kinky) people everywhere I go, in red and blue states alike. But they are not always able to be out and gather a large community around them; sometimes these communities are pretty small or pretty hidden. My favorite example of this is the SM dungeon located just a few blocks from the Mormon Tabernacle in Salt Lake City. Man, those jack Mormons are fun-loving people! Eros Zine: Which lectures/topics work best on the road? And are there specific cities with specific, um, inclinations? Carol Queen: Hmm. I think this depends more on who brings me in and organizes the lectures. When a college student is coming out as bi, she'll invite me to talk about bisexuality... a BDSM organization wants talks about BDSM, and so forth. Anal play is a pretty popular travel topic... not enough people out in the hinterlands talking about it, apparently! And I often get invited just to read my erotic stories, or to perform. Eros Zine: Do YOU think SF is the kinkiest city? Carol Queen: Yep! Especially in terms of the size of the community, out-ness, diversity and so forth. But the very kinkiest scene I've heard of was conducted in small-town Ohio, so you know, we can never rest on our laurels! Eros Zine: What are your Queen of Heaven parties?
Eros Zine: And how could someone throw one of their own? Carol Queen: Put sheets on the furniture! Seriously, it's a good idea to think about how many frisky friends you might have. Probably a decent starting number to aim for is 10 or a dozen people, especially if you're just doing it in your home. Then think about what you want to serve for refreshments (I recommend against alcohol), sex supplies and toys (condoms are a must, and you should decide whether they'll be required or optional... I recommend required), and ambiance (porn, sexy music on the stereo). A simple icebreaker for these parties is getting each guest to say what they hope to explore at the party; that way, it's more likely people who want to do similar scenes will find each other and do them! Eros Zine: Tell us about the Center for Sex & Culture. What are your goals with/for it? Carol Queen: CSC is a space for sex education in all its manifestations. We have a library and archive, plus we host classes, workshops, cultural events like art shows and performances, all sorts of things. Some people learn well from lectures... others from doing things. So we have a wide range of events in an attempt to appeal very broadly. A person can have their mind really opened in a sex-positive direction by attending something sexual, but safe. You know what I said about being shocked at how bad sex ed is in America? We're just trying to do our part to change that! Ultimately we'll have online events too, plus probably a speakers' and teachers' bureau to represent us outside the SF Bay Area. Eros Zine: And what inspired you to create such a place? Carol Queen: Betty Dodson wanted us to make a space she'd want to visit in San Francisco to do her workshops. "Kids," she said to me and Robert, "you should open a place!" And who ever says no to Betty? She is the Mother of Masturbation! Eros Zine: What kind of events do you hold there? Carol Queen: Salons for parents and for sex ed students; book readings and talks by authors -- recently we held the country's first book launch for Everything You Know About Sex Is Wrong, Russ Kick's new book with DisInformation -- soirees, like the one you, Abby, held, including various fun, frisky performances; art events -- the greatest one was put together by Annie Sprinkle and involved about 20 artists actually doing erotic art while people milled around and watched them work -- erotic photography workshops -- we're organizing a series so people can work with various photographers. Besides Annie Sprinkle, we've had Nina Hartley, Candye Kane, Shar Rednour, queer theatre artist S. Bear Bergman, Scarlot Harlot and other terrific notables. Coming up in February we've got art by Charles Gatewood and a very rare visit from Xaviera Hollander! Eros Zine: What are your future plans for the Center? Carol Queen: More and better! We want to get more books catalogued into the library -- lots of our holdings are still in boxes -- do more education, do more web-based stuff, find a larger space. We are always looking for support -- volunteers and, of course, money! People can donate on our website via PayPal, or send a check to 2215-R Market St #455, SF CA 94114. We'll send a deduction letter, since we're a non-profit. Eros Zine: Would you ever open satellite locations in other cities? Carol Queen: That's a really exciting idea, and yes, if we could figure out the logistics, I'd love to see CSC spawn. It creates a community center, something not everyone currently has access to, as well as a place to learn and develop one's ideas about sex and erotic community and possibility. Eros Zine: What are your hopes and dreams for a more sexually aware and satisfied America in 2006? Carol Queen: I vacillate between being a hopeful, optimistic Pollyanna, trying to see possibility everywhere, and a fuckin' sex grinch, sure that the cultural struggles over sex and morality are sending us to hell in a handbasket. So let me just put on my Pollyanna hat to overcome that tendency. OK, here goes: The US will come to its senses and realize sex ed for youth staves off lots of trauma and just plain BAD SEX, and embraces the idea that good sex is everyone's birthright. Everybody can marry or not, have multiple partners or not, be any sexual orientation that suits them, and no one's panties get in a bunch. Actually, when you get down to it, I'd make the whole world a lot more like San Francisco. Eros Zine: Thank you, Carol! Carol Queen: Thank you! This was fun!
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