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He's young, famous, and spends 47 weeks a year sleeping in hotel rooms in strange cities. Dustin Diamond left Saved by the Bell determined to forge a new career as a stand-up comic, and the 29-year-old has spent the last six years paying his dues. But life on the road has its perks. Screeched!, a new DVD from Red Light District, shows a starstruck blonde bride-to-be and her brunette bridesmaid who'd invited Diamond to their suite for a wild night. There's real tension as the confident TV actor tries to charm his way into the ultimate amateur tape, and many delicious surprises. He coaxes a blow job which leads suddenly to girl-on-girl 69, anilingus, and anal and double penetration with a plastic dong. Both women lick Dustin's lengthy cock after they pull a candy ring over it, and the bride even sucks off Dustin while wearing her veil. Her engagement ring is clearly visible while she finger-fucks the bridesmaid, and at one point she even apologizes on-camera to her future husband. It's may also be the ultimate celebrity sex tape -- with an ongoing commentary from the celebrity himself. ("That hurts me just looking at it," Dustin says at one point. "But I will continue to look. You're going to make a good wife.") Screeched! mimics the opening of "Saved by the Bell," but moves quickly to Dustin himself raising his eyebrows in anticipation of the night to come. "I'm going to bring the camera along," he says, genuinely wondering what will happen next. "Hopefully I'll get to use it, and if I do I'll score some big points and you guys will score some big laughs. Let the party begin!"
It was a private tape from 2002 that leaked out this fall without Dustin's consent. But making lemonade out of lemons, he decided to release an authorized version through Red Light District. ("Look at Johnny Knoxville," Dustin jokes. "He gets naked on Jackass all the time, and it's for nothing.") Interviewing Dustin we learned that he's a fast conversationalist who's very good at picking up women. But there are really two stories -- the story that's in the tape itself, and the story of how it came to be. Eros Zine: Now that your adult DVD has been released, what kind of reaction are you getting? Dustin Diamond: Is seeing me with two girls that interesting to people? Apparently yes! They're saying they got tremendous response. They're saying this is really taking off. Eros Zine: So how did you coax these women into letting you videotape them? Dustin Diamond: They came up to me! They're like, "Hey we're having a party, you want to come back?" I ended up saying all right -- and I videotape my shows, so I brought my camera along just in case. I'm just hoping the bride in the video doesn't see it -- and the dude she married! That's what good about having someone like Red Light District. They have the ability to deal with that kind of thing and the money and funding to defend. I don't know if they pay off or how it works. [Eros Zine verified that both actresses in the video had, in fact, signed full release forms]. Eros Zine: In some ways you've lived every man's fantasy. You're famous enough to find a steady supply of willing women. Dustin Diamond: I've always wanted to have a book called "Babes I Bagged." I wish I'd taken a picture of every girl and made a scrap book. I have pictures of a lot of them. Maybe that would be made into my first book. "Babes I Bagged, by Dustin Diamond" - on a book full of pictures of women I've done. I'd probably serve some info on each one. I'm sure some of them are moms now. (He laughs). Do you have any idea how many lawsuits I'd get? Eros Zine: How many girls have you slept with? Dustin Diamond: Probably 400 or more. Definitely over 300. [His girlfriend Jennifer shouts out "I'm the best."] Jennifer's the best. She'd said on the internet it said there was a video of me and two girls. That doesn't narrow it down a whole bunch! Eros Zine: Was it really a bachelorette party? Dustin Diamond: Yeah. They were staying at this hotel, and the other girls had gone out on the town partying. These two knew I was coming over, so they stayed to wait. Typical friends. The bride should be the center of attention, and all her friends took off and left her. I'd say this: if all of them were there, it would be a better video. Eros Zine: It's funny. In July you told Nerve that guys shouldn't film themselves having sex. Dustin Diamond: Guys try to make porn like they're the porn stars. Porn star guys, they never look at the camera. Regular Joes ALWAYS look at the camera, like "Yeah, check me out! I'm banging!" Plus, guys sweat and get out of breath. In porn there are cuts and edits made and retakes and stuff to make everyone go longer and strong and everything else. Regular Joes trying to make it never comes out. Eros Zine: You captured a pretty amazing series of positions from the two ladies.As the guy who was there with the camera, what can you tell me about these two women? Dustin Diamond: The bridesmaid I thought was going to be a cock block the whole time. And then she turned out to be the wild one! I think they were definitely drunk, but I think that was just an excuse. You can tell, any guy can tell, they clearly had fooled around before. I guess some girls try to hide it. Some people get real wild when the camera's on. It cuts out at a few points. I remember shooting more to that. They put in what they thought was the best, but there's definitely edits I mean not huge stuff. There was some talking in the middle and some coaxing that they didn't put in. I think they put in the juiciest stuff. Eros Zine: So how do you get from that to the Dirty Sanchez? Dustin Diamond: The Dirty Sanchez was a sneak attack. There was no preparation. She didn't have a chance to say no! People make a big deal about it. I think the "fish eye" was funny too.
Dustin Diamond: That was the begining of it. It was a sneak atack that lead into it. I hope people who watch it enjoy it, and they aren't too harsh and critical. This was intended for a close group of friends. It's not a directorial debut. There's inside jokes and things that we were doing It's a tape that I made privately -- like everyone else I'm sure has done -- and I'm trying to make my buddies laugh. I got 15 points for the Dirty Sanchez! It would've been 20 points if you could see the moustache. I only videotaped the parts to win. That was the whole goal, man! Eros Zine: You talk about "points" and your "group of friends". Is there a story about how this tape came to be? Dustin Diamond: Yeah. Going back about four years, when the poker tour was becoming the big phenomenon because they were televising it, my buddies and I would get together like a little guys club. We'd smoke some cigars and have some brandy and play poker. At any given time we had a good eight people playing, but there's probably 15 of us. Eros Zine: Or as you call them on the tape, "The Brotherhood of the Bros". (I'd thought that was all of us.) So who were these people really? Dustin Diamond: Directors and staff leads and people like that. One of the things that tied us together was our ability to pull chicks. Every guy started laughing; Dustin Diamond played "Screech," and he pulls just as many chicks as athletes. There's the guy we nicknamed "Wilt" because the guy tells tall tales -- they gotta be bullshit. The guy's full of shit, but entertaining. One night we're sitting there, and he said seriously "I'll put money on it," So everyone started throwing money into the pot. But he said "I don't have a video or anything, so I can't prove it." So that's the problem. It ended up evolving into this game, where we figured: three points for regular positions and five points for this, seven points for that -- and of course you get more points for the more elaborate and exotic maneuvers you can pull off. I called it "Poke'm." Everybody thought it was funny, we're laughing, we're having a good time, but it's nothing more than talk. A few weeks later, one of the guys comes in and plops a tape down on the table. "All right -- I'm in!" He puts his name on the whiteboard, and we're like, "No way!" We pop it in, and sure as shit, he did it! Some of us started getting serious about it, "Let's tally up the points." He's throwing in maneuvers that we didn't think of, so the list is getting longer. Eros Zine: So what was the scoring system? Dustin Diamond: Since it started out as a joke, there's things on the list like the Donkey Punch. It's one of those maneuvers you hear about in jokes, like the Hot Carl, the Cleveland Steamer, the Hoover, the Houdini, or the Abraham Lincoln. It started out as who can think of the funniest stuff, and you've got to add a point for it and put them in tiers. After he did it, one of the other guys did it, and then one of the other guys and one of the other guys and one of the other guys -- and then I did it. We'd said at the end of the month the person with the most points would win the pot! So there was substantial money in the pot. I ended up winning quite a bit of them because I went the extra distance. Eros Zine: So how much money did you win? Dustin Diamond: I cannot reveal that. It was was substantial enough to think this was a blast! It was pretty funny, but that's the thing -- it was a private thing. I was making this video for my friends. We all were talking to the camera, making jokes to the group. The only people we expected to see were inside the group. Eros Zine: Does this mean there's more tapes showing members of "The Brotherhood of the Bros" in action? Dustin Dimaond: There were quite a bit. We did this every month for a while. I have all the ones that were sent to me. I have probably 12 or 15. I'm just guestimating. I would send one and they'd send it on to others. Whoever the dealer was last -- we'd make the copy for him! Eros Zine: So is there any chance more of these tapes would actually be released? Dustin Diamond: Let's put it this way. If the tape does tremendous numbers, then I might contact some of these guys and get them to sign off and work a deal with Red Light to put out one of the tapes that I have. Because I have some stuff, man... I'm actually buddies with the people who were in it, so I'm not trying to scam people. But if the numbers do well, and this sells well enough, I might seek to put out some of the other stuff I have of other people. Eros Zine: Would you ever film a new "Brother of the Bros" tape? Dustin Diamond: I can't make a new one because of my lady, man. It'd have to be figures that would make HER say yes, because I'm not allowed to go on forays and expeditions any more. Eros Zine: But it sounds like you're on comfortable terms with the adult industry, and hoping to stay on good terms. Dustin Diamond: We're going to try to make it to the next AVN Awards. We're going to try to go to some of the adult conventions too because it'd be good for us. Eros Zine: Your girlfriend is also your agent, so I have to ask: what does she think of your newfound fame as an accidental adult star? Dustin Diamond: She's into it, she's cool. We're big fans of the industry. Jenn says shes a fan of the one girl on my box. [Rebecca Linares appears in several bonus shorts on Dustin's DVD.] Jenn's cool. Now that we're involved with it -- we're going to see what's out there! Readers can purchase Screeched! at Eros Toys.
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